It’s common for parents addicted to alcohol to show affection inconsistently.4 One moment they may be loving, while the next they’re cold or cruel. And when someone becomes addicted to alcohol, drinking becomes the priority.5 As a result, working, providing food, and attending school functions fall by the wayside. So many ACoAs quickly learn that they can’t trust people6 for love or survival. When you grow up in a home with one or more alcoholic parents, the impact of the dysfunction reverberates throughout your life. Fear of abandonment in relationships is another major challenge many children who had a parent struggle with addiction experience.
They may also struggle with relationships, face academic challenges, and have a higher risk of developing substance abuse problems themselves. And childhood trauma tends to stay with us in many forms, sometimes without us realizing it. Many ACoAs experience the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as a result of their childhood. And studies show that ACoAs learn to be hypervigilant20 from a young age to protect themselves.
This hyper-responsibility doesn’t disappear when you turn 18 or move out. Many ACoAs will continue to feel responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone around them—an impossibly big task. This distrust then makes it difficult to accept love from others.
Symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder in adult children of alcoholics
In other words, they don’t know that they don’t know, they really and sincerely think that the source of their pain is outside of them, if only they could fix that person who is bothering them, they would feel fine. In my experience over the past 47 years in 12 step groups, the recovery process seems to be cyclical and ongoing as long as I continue to do the work. I can identify with the metaphor of recovery as peeling an onion one layer at a time. I have also heard of recovery being compared to ascending a spiral staircase with the same old or new issues, feelings, traits, defenses, or defects/assets being presented to me as I grow and change on this wonderful pathway forward. I actually enjoy walking the path of emotional sobriety and healthier relationships, while lovingly reparenting my inner child and embracing my true self. Having an alcoholic parent can cause a child to experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and trust issues.
It’s possible to break the cycle of substance abuse and its impact on the family system. We offer evidence-based addiction treatment that addresses underlying issues like ACoA Trauma Syndrome and co-occurring mental health disorders. Because of the chaos they experienced at home, adult children of alcoholics often have a strong need for control. Your living situation growing up felt very much out of control, and that is a feeling that you’re always trying to escape, whether that’s trying to control your environment, yourself, or other people.
ACoA Trauma Syndrome: How Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships
As an adult, though, you can learn to manage and change specific behaviors that no longer help you, which can improve your overall well-being, quality of life, and relationships with others. “In this process, you’ll process unresolved traumatic experiences and develop tools to formulate healthy relationships and communicate your needs,” she explains. A 2012 study that considered 359 adult children of parents with AUD found that they tended to fall within five distinct personality subtypes. One of these types, termed Awkward/Inhibited by researchers, was characterized by feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness. Behavioral therapies are another option for ACoAs.23 Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you learn new ways to resolve conflict, communicate your needs, and cope with stress.
- You can’t predict how the alcoholic will behave from one day to another.
- This is what being an ACoA is all about–a post-traumatic stress reaction.
- If this was the case with your parent, you may have learned to pay attention to small, subtle signs at a young age.
- On the flip side, some children growing up with addicted parents fully reject any responsibility.8 They become dependent on others for functioning.
- Support in ACoA is available to help people overcome adversity and lead fulfilling and sober lives.
- The combination of these factors can contribute to PTSD, the symptoms of which may lie dormant in the unconscious for years.
In this article, you’ll learn more about what adult children of alcoholic trauma syndrome is, and how having a parent growing up who struggled with alcoholism may impact your life today. Adult children of alcoholics (ACoAs) can and often do suffer from some features of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) that are the direct result of living with the traumatizing effects of addiction. Years after we leave behind our alcoholic homes, we carry the impact of living with addiction with us.
Autistic traits in childhood and post-traumatic stress disorder as young adults: a cohort study
It may seem like nobody understands what you’ve been through, but you’re not alone. In the U.S., there are over 76 million adult children of alcoholics,3 many of whom have shared experiences. All of the characteristics we have discussed that can result from relationship trauma can create emotional, psychological and somatic disturbance and dis-equilibration. Self-medicating can seem to be a solution, a way to temporarily calm an inner storm–as it can make pain, anxiety and body symptoms temporarily abate–but in the long run, it creates many more problems than it solves.
The full list of characteristics can be found in the Laundry List, the 14 common traits of adult children, which was written by the ACA founder Tony A. A treatment center will attempt to verify your health insurance benefits and/or necessary authorizations on your behalf. Please note, this is only a quote of benefits and/or authorization. We cannot guarantee payment or verification eligibility as conveyed by your health insurance provider will be accurate and complete. Payment of benefits are subject to all terms, conditions, limitations, and exclusions of the member’s contract at time of service. Your health insurance company will only pay for services that it determines to be “reasonable and necessary.” The treatment center will make every effort to have all services preauthorized by your health insurance company.
Adult Children of Alcoholics: Healing From Childhood Trauma and Learning to Thrive
And while many ACoAs enter adulthood without any long-lasting effects,1 some people continue to experience problems stemming from trauma adult children of alcoholic trauma syndrome during their childhood. Whichever camp you’re in, it’s important to remember that whether or not you develop issues from your childhood is not a reflection of your character. Mental health issues can be a symptom of adverse childhood experiences. Research suggests childhood trauma could double your risk of mental illness later in life.
Children of alcoholic parents are a population at risk for poor school performance, skipping school days, and school dropout due to the unstable environment that disrupts the child’s ability to focus on their studies. Children largely rely on their parents for guidance learning how to identify, express, and regulate emotions. But a parent with AUD may not have been able to offer the support you needed here, perhaps in part because they experienced emotional dysregulation themselves. This state of hypervigilance is a common symptom of both post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety disorders. “Adult children of parents with AUD may find closeness with others somewhat uncomfortable given a deep-rooted fear that becoming connected to someone else means a significant risk of emotional pain,” says Peifer. Conversely, Peifer notes that some children who grow up in these environments may become more attention-seeking in order to fulfill the needs their parents couldn’t meet.
For Treatment Providers
Growing up with an alcoholic father or mother is considered an adverse childhood experience (ACE), leading to enduring physical and mental health challenges persisting into adulthood and potentially old age if not addressed. When you don’t learn how to regulate your emotions, you might find it more difficult to understand what you’re feeling and why, not to mention maintain control over your responses and reactions. Difficulty expressing and regulating emotions can affect your overall well-being and contribute to challenges in your personal relationships. Even if you don’t have a diagnosed mental health condition, the trauma of your childhood can affect you in many ways. Many rehabs offer trauma-informed programs to help you heal from your past, and learn healthy ways to communicate and cope. An ACoA’s feeling of mistrust that can manifest as resistance is the truly unconscious nature of traumatic memory.
Financial Stability and Stress
Commonly, adult children of alcoholics experience feelings of shame or guilt. It is common to feel like it was your fault for the way your parents behaved. When your parents got drunk, you felt like you did something wrong. You were and are still afraid of yelling, door slamming, and conflict. As well, adult children of alcoholics have difficulty controlling your emotions.
The type of therapy you pursue may depend on the issues you’re most concerned about. Your therapist can help you determine a therapy approach that best fits your unique needs and concerns. Having a parent with AUD doesn’t automatically mean you’ll develop the condition yourself. That said, you are four times more likely to develop it than someone who doesn’t have a parent with AUD. If this was the case with your parent, you may have learned to pay attention to small, subtle signs at a young age.
Adults and children of alcoholics are not alone and several resources and support are available. ACoA is a mutual support organization and a 12-step program to help those who grew up in homes affected by alcohol use disorder or other forms of family dysfunction. Read on to explore the traits and characteristics of adult children of alcoholics, their struggles and their path to trauma recovery.